The Book of Life

Ever since I was a little girl, I've envisioned life as a book that you're constantly writing. And when you die, that book ends.

 I continue to hope that when my book ends, my stories get retold over and over again so that I never die. At least not for a while.

Last night, a chapter in my book of life ended. It was a chapter that I was hoping to continue writing, but for the sake of those involved, it had to end...at least in the sense that it was intended to be written. I'm slightly heartbroken about it, but for as long as I am still alive, I must continue writing.

The Man With The Broken Watch and I had a very real, fairly serious, and much needed conversation last night. Granted, it was probably the worst conversation to have right after having watched a certain movie, as my emotions were already reeling, but it needed to happen sometime. Our watches were telling us that it was finally time to let go. It really was unfair to us both that I'm not able to let go of our past right now. Hopefully one day I'll learn to let all of that go...for my own sake...so that I could love someone without condition or fear, so that I could be loved without condition or fear. And because I couldn't let go, I couldn't let him in, at least not in the way I should have and could have. And because I couldn't let him in, I couldn't possibly be the one...the one that he woke up thinking about, the one he couldn't get out of his head, the one that encompassed every beautiful thought in his mind. And that's okay. I accept that.

I'm not saying that I wasn't upset by it. I wanted to see if it would work, but I was so ruled with fear...and that's just not fair to anyone. It hurt a little, but I don't blame him at all. It was mutual, it all made sense, but it still stings a little. We are, first and foremost, friends. And over the past couple of months, we have grown together as friends and will continue to do so. I think that knowing that I'm not writing that chapter anymore makes it harder to accept, but that feeling will go away once I pick up the pen and start writing for myself again.


It was a chapter in my life that was probably unnecessarily drawn out for far too long, but I'm glad that it panned out the way that it did. You love, you lose, and you move on.

And to you, sir, I am glad that we're moving forward...and with each other in our lives. You're watch isn't shattered, but had merely stopped, nothing that couldn't be fixed with time and care. You'll find someone someday that will care enough. You're totally worth it.

So what do you do when a chapter in your life ends?

Continue writing the rest of it...and make every chapter just as beautiful, thoughtful, and meaningful as the last.