On Letting Go

When is it time to finally cut the cords and let someone go?  I'm sure everyone's heard of the saying "If you love something, set it free...and if it comes back to you, then it's yours", right? How much truth is in that, really?

Do we hold on to people and things, no matter how toxic, in our lives because we develop too much of an emotional attachment to them? I think we do. I know that I do on so many levels.

If you thought this was going to be an entry about learning how to let go, think again. I'm just as lost as everyone else when it comes to asking one's self, "when do you just say 'fuck it' and move on?"

I still think about The Man With The Broken Watch. Constantly.
But should I just move on? He says he realizes he's messed up, but I feel like I've heard it all before...with the same outcome: nothing. Well, nothing and the feeling of not having whatever it is he's looking for.
Yes, we're talking semi-regularly again. But I'm not sure if it's going to end up in anything, I doubt I can ever be sure of that. I've voiced some concerns about an "us", and I don't know if it's as simple as figuring out if it's worth a try. I'm so scared. But when I look into his eyes, I feel like every worry I have just seems to melt away. I don't know if it's just that silly swoony feeling to mask the fear, or if it's real...if it really is worth facing all of my fears head on. Or should I just let it go?

Also, I've decided to let go of this crush that I have had on this guy I work with. I've pretty much decided that I will not taint my life with any sordid work romances. Not that it's ever been really bad that I've dated a couple of guys that I've worked with, but I was pretty much just admiring him from afar, too scared to say anything. And I doubt that he feels the same way. He may just be a little too old-fashioned for me, I've decided. I like people with a modern spin on life.

My latest ex, the third great love of my life, and I have been talking/texting again recently. When he moved back home to the other side of the country, I realized that I may have made a mistake on letting him go. I kicked myself over and over again and played the scenario in my head over and over again. No regrets, not a mistake...but boy, did I miss him. I still kind of miss him, but I think that I've let go of our past enough to just be friends and be able to talk about life and love. He was, first and foremost, one of my best friends. After all, he knows more about me than almost anyone else. He moved on when he moved away- he soon had a new girlfriend and I realized that I had a tinge of jealousy...but it wasn't really because I wanted him back...it was because he was able to find someone and I wasn't...it was more a sense of inadequacy than jealousy. I thought to myself, "If he could find love so quickly, why can't I? What's wrong with me?"

I know now that there isn't anything wrong with me (mostly, haha), it's just a waiting game. Waiting for the right person. He'll come, eventually. But right now, I can just sit back and enjoy the show...now that I'm learning to let things go.